Want to Live Long? Shave Your Magnificent Hair

Letter to Ephesians: Vanity, oh, vanity! We toil to live forever. But we’re told we start to die as early as 35 years old & urged to grow ‘n groom our hair until it reaches our butt in a straight line. Consider too the dermatologist opining how often to wash our hair. I, like Telly Savalas, say “Never!”

Not that taking care of ourselves isn’t a key to a happy life. A healthy diet, exercising regularly & maintaining social ties is even more important than just eating an apple a day to keep the doctor away; at least, so says Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. But then, Ecclesiastes also warns us how all things must pass, including Yours Truly. And, as if to back up that Biblical death sentence comes the Fox New story assuring us 35-years old is the median age at which “strength & fitness begin fading.” Did we also need to be reminded by this “new study of long term data from Sweden” that “Physical decline does not wait for old age”?

One possible shocker or at least downer to some was the study’s conclusion that “while individuals who were physically active tended to retain higher overall fitness levels, activity did not completely prevent age-related decline.” On the other hand, yawn, “the data [also] showed that participants who increased their activity levels later in life improved their physical capacity by roughly 5% to !0%, demonstrating that the body remains responsive to exercise beyond peak years.” But, back to things that matter. Like the USA Today story diving into the raging debate over how healthy, wealthy & wise it is to wash your hair every day. The paper assured it consulted a dermatologist to “settle the debate once & for all.” I won’t divulge the answer here so’s to keep the debate raging for those who want to rage. But I will say I settled it years ago for my own sanity by taking Yul Brenner’s advice after filming the iconic “Magnificent Seven.” That is, when you have lousy hair, look in the mirror, use your common sense, and admit it’s best to buzz it off.

Davd Soul