Divorce all-Italiana Unmarried Style

Letter to Philippians: Over 20 million adults are now living together without the “ring” & those giving the boot to their live-in with benefits mates are finding out what their parachuting married peers did a decade ago: The legal system’s more of a bitch to navigate than the ex …

As the WSJ’s story warned, “Whether the fight is over the house or the dog, unwed former couples are often beholden to a patchwork of legal interpretation” and mirror more “The Wild West” than a problem-solving forum. Concludes the paper: The “laws haven’t kept up with the changing ways people are coupling up.” I dunno. Having handled nearly 100 divorces in my lawyering days, I’d say the American system of Justice has always been clear as mud in unwinding common law arrangements. Always remember the ABCs: STATE laws govern how unmarried couples call it quits; often hinge on case law precedents only digitalized records can sort out; usually rely in some way on old-fashioned contract law principles; and can still turn on the “equities involved” aka who can tell the best sob story. What about going into an unmarried yet living together relationship with a “cohabitation agreement” to ward off disputes? Go ahead & make a lawyer’s day running up the hourly tab arguing in court over what the contract “really” meant.

Ironically, the unmarried couples having a child may be happy to know “the same legal standard applies” to them as to the married. Invariably, the state judge will “weigh what is in the child’s best interest.” But first,

ask a recently divorced married couple what applying THAT standard can look and feel like. From my lawyerly perspective, it was as settling as sitting on a ticking bomb and not unlike arguing over who should get the jointly bought Miatta.

Davd Soul